Physical Subculture

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Today’s workout is pretty simple. Remember, simple is not synonymous with easy.

Near max box squats with bands/sled blast. 2 reps/100 feet, 4 sets. After a usual contingent of warm up sets, we’ll strive for a double at about 90% max (band and box max, remember, not competition max). After the 2 reps, run the sled for 100 feet (or one lap, in Bodytribe measurements). Make the sled fairly heavy. If you don’t have a pushing sled, go for a heavy farmer’s walk.

Bueler’s/KB swing/sandbag clean and carry. 6 reps each side/15 reps/100 feet, 3 rounds for time. Grab a stopwatch, this one’s for speed. Max the bueler bar fairly heavy, as well as the KB (yes, even though you’re doing 15 reps). Don’t slouch on the sandbag either. In the middle of the 100 foot sandbag carry, drop it and clean it again, then finish the walk.

HOW ANNOYING SHOULD I BE?

Supporting local magazines about fitness is on my list of things to do, especially when they aim to feature women predominantly. The problem with any such endeavor is that there will have to be advertising revenue, and it will most likely come from commercial fitness chains. Franchise advertising dollars might boost revenue, but those dollars tend to dumb-down, or at least dilute, the information that people should be reading.

My therapist is proud of the work I’ve made in tolerating the choices people make when it comes to decisions about fitness. Folks don’t actually want to work very hard and many of them seem perfectly content with what I consider the awful selection of programs and gyms easily available to them. I’ll count to 12 slowly (sometimes 20) and accept that being born with free thought doesn’t mean we’re born with the wisdom to express it in the most productive way.

ZAAAAP!

OUCH! I get shocked whenever I make a statement loaded with judgment. Anyway, fine. So people like badly lit, poorly designed dens of crappy equipment that won’t make them stronger and I’m supposed to accept that they make this choice because of that whole different strokes nonsense (ZAAAP! Ouch.). I’m supposed to accept that it has nothing to do with their fear of actual work or their inherent laziness (ZAAAAAP…. yeah whatever), and I’ll somehow smile and agree that ‘hey, at least they’re doing something.’

Fuck that. But I will give folks one concession. The reason so many folks make these poor choices is because our INDUSTRY PERPETUATES IT! This is the misgiving I have in supporting a new magazine that is heavily sponsored by the commercial fitness industry. It is bound to happen (and already has). The articles will regurgitate the already ubiquitous soft-core fitness that isn’t really doing a heck of a lot to make this nation, our big Tribe, any healthier.

Remember the three basics? Train Hard, Eat Well, Rest Hard? Often there is confusing information on the second tenet, and a complete lack of information on the first. An example would be in the most recent issue of AOW. To be fair, the magazine does have a decent quantity of quality (magazine quality, meaning nothing too in depth or provocative due to space constraints, but insightful nonetheless). So perhaps asking for perfection is reserved for only purely actualized beings. I’m far from one, so what can I expect?

A local training franchise owner named Michelle Shackelford wrote an article on preparing for snowboarding, giving a hand load of exercises to get the bod in shape for the punishment the mountain likes to dish out. Not a bad premise; some sports-specific tips for avoiding injury and increasing performance. Not a mention of fat loss or toned lower abs to be found. That’s a big plus.

But (you knew this was coming) the article is a giant irony. She mentions in the initial paragraph that ‘the best exercises for snowboarding and all winter sports are to work the postural or stability muscles.’ Yet 5 out of the 6 exercises she lists are either SEATED OR LYING DOWN! The exception being a calf raise(?), which I’ll claim ignorance as to how it might be a postural exercise.

Since you’re dying to know what her other choices are, I won’t keep you waiting.

Leg Press (’one of the best winter sports exercises.’) Not sure why there is no mention of the gigantic world of standing hip extension/leg exercises, and why, instead, a exerciser that has a bit of a reputation for throwing the spine OUT of alignment makes the top of her list.

Leg Curl (’…great exercise for hamstring strength’) Since the ham’s job of hip extension is far more dominant than its other job of knee flexion, I’m not sure why the world of standing posterior chain exercises was ignored.

Seated Row (’While snowboarding, your back and torso help in constant direction changes on the slope‘) Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of rows, but any exercise that includes the word ’seated’ in the title should be bumped off the list by default. How does that help with her claim of rotation and direction changes of the torso?

Lat Pull Down. Again, I’m a fan of shoulder adduction and scapula retraction, but how does lateral shoulder adduction help a snow boarder, especially from a seated position? Holding onto the lift chair when they almost fall off?

Abdominals. (’Abdominal (stomach) muscles, which support most of the core, get a lot of use in snowboarding’). Oh, there is too much to say about this one (and I have said it all before), but let’s get two things correct: Abdominal muscles and ’stomach’ muscles aren’t quite the same thing. And that’s a pretty bold statement about supporting most of the core. Sort of takes a lot of the local spinal musculature right out of the picture.

So how annoying should I be? When I read this article I instantly produced a 2-page letter that sort-of kindly let my position be known. I’m toying with the idea of sending it. Keep in mind, this letter will be an attempt at dialog, not an attack of any kind. Last time I was in this scenario was when I got hate mail from Curves owners for publicly critiquing their entire concept in the pages of the Sacramento Bee. I responded to every letter and every point in each said letter (which were all virtually identical, since the owners just quoted their company’s propaganda). These magniloquent-but-accurate response emails I painstakingly put together met with only one reply, which was:

“I’m sure your program works for you, and ours works for us.”

So much for opening a dialog. Hence my current dilemma. Will anything good come of it, besides my need to speak out? I guess, when protective of my tribe, this is my relatively harmless form of activism. If we, in a public forum, present information that we state as our brand of truth, it should stand up to critique, or at least the writer should have the skills to make a case for it. That’s the boon and beauty of being a writer, that we are responsible for what we put into the consciousness of the Tribe. If we can’t make a case for it, then do we actually believe it?

Damn it, I’m sending that letter!

(see what you miss when you don’t attend Strength Camp? Video later this week, but not of me spanking my ass)